by Dicky G
Most people don't realize that, contrary to what the plethora of bowed heads pre and post-athletic events might lead you to believe, God does not intervene in games with finite outcomes. Games with infinite outcomes? That's a different story. God does, however, like to kick the metaphorical Divine feet up and watch a little B-ball. And while it is true that God does not embody nor favor a particular gender, it turns out, God is a BIG fan of Dick Vitale. (I know – go figure). Not only that, God tends to speak about competitions in the voice of Dicky V. When this happens, God goes by the name of “Dicky G,” proving that while infinite in power and compassion, God's sense of humor is somewhat more limited that most of us had imagined.
That said, God has decided to step in and prognosticate about the outcome of a particular finite game that's chocked full of good humor – The American Jesus Brackets. In God's divine sense of fairness, God has also stepped back into our limited linear understanding of time in order to be made unaware of the actual outcomes - a point which will become abundantly apparent once Dicky G's picks are compared with the actual outcomes.
(Editor's note: I've been asked to remind you to read this in the voice of Dick Vitale. It would seem that being Divine doesn't necessarily mean you are completely confident about your ability to impersonate a well known personality like Dicky V).
Tim Tebow vs. Ray Lewis
Yeah, baaa-by. THIS is the kinda' match-up I like to see. Real PTPers bringing their whole bag of tricks to the game. Tebow is is the reigning champ in the house and you just KNOW he wants to keep the trophy on his mantel – but he's squaring off with a guy who's not only PLAYED in Super Bowls (keep on prayin' Tebow, I hear ya!), but has WON a Super Bowl. You just KNOW this one is going down to the buzzer. I'm calling it though – Lewis is DOA... Tebow takes a win.
Most people don't realize that, contrary to what the plethora of bowed heads pre and post-athletic events might lead you to believe, God does not intervene in games with finite outcomes. Games with infinite outcomes? That's a different story. God does, however, like to kick the metaphorical Divine feet up and watch a little B-ball. And while it is true that God does not embody nor favor a particular gender, it turns out, God is a BIG fan of Dick Vitale. (I know – go figure). Not only that, God tends to speak about competitions in the voice of Dicky V. When this happens, God goes by the name of “Dicky G,” proving that while infinite in power and compassion, God's sense of humor is somewhat more limited that most of us had imagined.
That said, God has decided to step in and prognosticate about the outcome of a particular finite game that's chocked full of good humor – The American Jesus Brackets. In God's divine sense of fairness, God has also stepped back into our limited linear understanding of time in order to be made unaware of the actual outcomes - a point which will become abundantly apparent once Dicky G's picks are compared with the actual outcomes.
(Editor's note: I've been asked to remind you to read this in the voice of Dick Vitale. It would seem that being Divine doesn't necessarily mean you are completely confident about your ability to impersonate a well known personality like Dicky V).
Tim Tebow vs. Ray Lewis
Yeah, baaa-by. THIS is the kinda' match-up I like to see. Real PTPers bringing their whole bag of tricks to the game. Tebow is is the reigning champ in the house and you just KNOW he wants to keep the trophy on his mantel – but he's squaring off with a guy who's not only PLAYED in Super Bowls (keep on prayin' Tebow, I hear ya!), but has WON a Super Bowl. You just KNOW this one is going down to the buzzer. I'm calling it though – Lewis is DOA... Tebow takes a win.
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