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Part 2 of my sabbatical adventure away from the church entitled: "Church No More."

A few weeks ago I (an ordained minster who has gone to church my whole life) walked away from church– for three months. It is what I've decided to do with my sabbatical. You can read about my initial thoughts on my blog or on The Huffington Post. As the journey unfolds, I will be blogging about it in this series entitled, “Church No More.” I hope you will not only follow along, but add your voice to the reflection by commenting or joining the discussion on my FB page.

It might be that the thing which concerned me the most about leaving the church was losing my spiritual community.  It's not that I thought the spiritual-but-not-religious folk were helplessly lonely people wandering around seeking a spiritual community. Not at all. I  just assumed that it might be immensely difficult to find and plug into a community like that in the course of three months. I also couldn't help but think it would be just a bit – well, fake to seek out a community for the sake of observing them and then leaving a few months latter.  Not just fake but somewhat mean spirited and completely missing the point of community.

Here's the thing, I am a minister. I understand myself to be a person who ministers by following the lead and teachings of Jesus. (I also happen to follow the teachings of many other spiritual and/or thought leaders from Buddha to Neil deGrasse Tyson, but that's for another post some other time). Because of that, the idea of life without a spiritual community gives me the heebie-jeebies. (I apologize for using such a technical term, but a duck is a duck is a duck).

Why? Why do I break out in a heebie-jeebie induced sweat/panic-attack at the thought of having no spiritual community? Jesus. That is to say, at the beginning of his ministry the first thing Jesus did was create community. He marched himself down to the shoreline, yelled out to a bunch of folk (who would never really understand him or his teachings) to “follow me,” and they began ministering together. It would seem that for Jesus a prerequisite to ministering and doing the work of God (possibly even relating to God fully) is to be in community.

As I walked away from the church, I had no spiritual community. Heebie-jeebies for real.

I've spent the first few weeks of my sabbatical sitting in the dirt pulling weeds up in my front yard, alone – which is another thing that Jesus seemed to think it takes to be healthy. So, as I sat there alone I spent a great deal of time thinking about not being alone.

I imagined the spaces and places other than church that might be out there for churchless people “like me.” Bars? Starbucks? Soccer games? Bars? (Sorry, did I mention 'bars' already? I get a bit distracted when the topic of beer comes up). Quickly though, I realized I was simply rehashing clichés. So, I decided to sit quietly and stop trying to
artificially find community. 

Then one day I found it. More precisely, I experienced it. It was more“church” than church and it was both intentional and unintentional at the same time. I went to the Wild Goose Festival
 
I think what I experienced there may be the future of church or at least point to what it will look like and it looks nothing like what most of us think of when we think of church. I'm not saying it's not already going on in places, because it is. I am saying that most “church goers” aren't aware of it and I am also saying it is the first time I experienced it so profoundly.

People who have walked away from church, people who go to church religiously (pardon the pun), people who are wandering, people who have been hurt, people who are spiritual-but-not-religious – we all gathered together for a long weekend of music, art and thinking about God. Surprisingly, that is where church broke out. There were no pews, no pipe organ, no liturgy, no polity – none of the trappings of church, but it decided to be church anyway.

For me it happened underneath a large tent. It was the kind of tent I remember seeing in my childhood in the South that would pop up on the lawns of Southern Baptist Churches when a revival was coming to town. Only this one also served beer. 

The event was called “Beer & Hymns.” I went to church y'all. (Sorry. Like I said, I'm from the South). It wasn't the revival of my childhood, but I am here to tell you, it was a revival. If in no other place, it was a revival in my soul. With a beer in one hand and lyrics to old hymns in the other, we let go of all of the trappings of what people think, how they are dressed and a myriad of other completely useless measurements of faith and with our feet planted in the dirt of Shakori Hills, NC we reached into our deepest spaces and wailed out our hymns to the heavens. It was joyous. And we did it with reckless abandon. It was beautiful. It was profoundly spiritual.

In that moment at Wild Goose , I experienced the Spirit in a deep and more profound way than I can ever remember doing inside the walls of any church. I turned to my buddy, Bryan McFarland, and said, "If church was like that every Sunday, we wouldn't be worrying about people walking away from church; we'd be worrying about how to fit them all in." 

Joy. Pure, unadulterated, reach-to-the-core-of-your-being Joy. In a word: worship. That's what we experienced.

Now that I have had a taste of it, I thirst for it. I want more.

So, my sabbatical journey continues. 
 

 
 


Comments

06/27/2012 16:29

I sometimes "miss" the spiritual community, but then I realize, as a minister, it wasn't my spiritual community. It was THEIRS. I couldn't be myself, I couldn't share my pain, my doubts, my true self. I had to be pastor at all times. I didn't really HAVE a spiritual community, I was providing one for others. I was subject to criticism as the leader. I didn't have it with colleagues because we were in "competition" for the "good" churches, so we didn't let our guard down. I don't "miss" something that I never had-- I miss not ever having had it. I miss having spiritual community where I can question, be myself, and grow in God with others. Right now, I'm like Jesus. I am by myself or with one or two trusted friends with God.

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lisa
06/27/2012 16:46

I was a little skeptical of your journey at first. But as I read this post .. Im a little impressed! FInding "church" is an amazing experience isnt it? I can find it in my backyard, cleaning out a gourd to make a vessel into which to collect prayers and needs of my family and friends.. I can find church driving down the Blue ridge parkway listening to classical music or ERA...I can find church after reading a book on my front porch at sunset... Im so glad you are making this journey. For us who no longer feel the need, or feel uncomfortable in a brick and mortar..you are someone who is willing to see what we 'feel' ...thank you!

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06/27/2012 17:21

I hope i have an understanding of this site, and its calling. I am a life long Presbyterain at First Pres in Albany NY 12210

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Claire Lovegrove
06/27/2012 17:23

The clue is in your statement..."feet planted in the dirt"... Then you brought yourselves in harmony with the universe through sound vibrations, singing the hymns. The abandonment is necessary and scary for people who have constructed a life around ridged rules. That joy is free and freeing to the soul. Thanks for sharing. Peace

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06/27/2012 17:37

Want more? Create more!! After experiencing the freedom of "alternative ministry" for a few years now, I could never go back to a structured church, on a regular basis...either to attend or to serve...

Thanks for sharing your journey... Peace & bles-sings....

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06/27/2012 19:18

Mark, it was sure great to meet you at the WGF this year! I find it deliciously ironic and perfectly paradoxical that you are now fasting from that which feeds you so deeply. Praying for you to be sustained during your time as a coal away from the hearth. peace. - Roger

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Patrick Mahoney
06/27/2012 19:39

Wonderful description of a what must have been an amazing gathering. Reminds me of some of the Jesus people events of the late 70's in Southern California. Religion less Christianity. I do have to ask though about the Beer and Bible aspects of the celebration. Alcohol is a powerful mood altering substance that is sometimes abused. I have heard people describe many interesting experiences while using substances to enhance fellowship, loosen inhibitions and increase spiritual awareness. I do not recommend this for folks with a history of substance abuse and dependency. Just a word of caution about making to much of an experience while "under the influence". Gosh I sound like some Missionary Baptist teetotaler don't I? "Be not drunk with wine, but filled with the Spirit!" LOL

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Karla Yaconelli
06/27/2012 21:08

I cried when I read this post and the comments. As one of the founding board members of WGF, the confirmation that the festival is achieving (one of) its aims is what fuels the leaders, organizers, and volunteers to keep it going. Thank you for sharing. Peace for the journey, friend.

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Karla Yaconelli
06/27/2012 21:10

Oops -- just submitted a comment and forgot to check the box to be notified of new comments. Doing that now ...

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Andrea Schafer
06/27/2012 22:26

In 1974 I joined a Presbyterian Church in my small community. At the time it was a church with 65-70 people each Sunday, tons of kids, 2 adult SS classes and a very loving place to nurture the spirit. Over the years it has dwindled to the point where we have 9 to 18 each Sunday, no SS, no children and I have been wondering where I will go when the doors close. I understand the joy you felt at the Wild Goose festival but don't understand how to find this type of community on a regular basis. I love worship, liturgy, singing praises to God......and I want to be in a community to share this with.
Can you give me insight as to how to find this when I no longer have it in my current church?

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06/28/2012 01:00

Mark, now that you have found this wild abandon, you will never lose it. This is the feeling that brought me into the Episcopal Church in 1968 when I was in college, and despite the craziness that the years have seen, I still remember sharing a Eucharistic feast of beer and bread with people whose joyful acceptance of themselves and me continues to sustain me. Crazy peace; thanks be to God!!! And as my Bishop always says, keep the faith!

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Karla Yaconelli
06/30/2012 15:39

Andrea: A place to start would be to go to the Wild Goose page on Facebook and put in a friend request (which will be accepted usu in 24 hours or less), then post where you're from and see if any Wild Goosers are in your area. There's also a place to do the same on our website: www.wildgoosefestival.org

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07/22/2012 09:23

I find myself in this spot a lot. I attend my church on a regular basis, but I often think, "What are we doing?" Stand up, sit down, read this...it all feels so robotic at times. I completely get what you mean about the spirituality and the community having the ability to arise anywhere and any time. Thanks for this post.

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