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I like the idea of Lent. While it is one of the oldest observations of the Christian Church, it seems particularly helpful for our very busy and very full modern lives.

The idea behind Lent is to take a look at our lives, to do an honest assessment of our journey to/toward/with God and to repent of the things that are distancing us from God – to turn away from those things. Considering how many things we have in our lives today, the distractions, the obstacles, that get between us and our ability to follow the teachings of Jesus, I just can't help but think that Lent may actually be more needed now than it has ever been. 

But I also have to say, I dread THAT question. You know the one. It pops up about this time every year. Say it with me, “What did you give up for Lent?” Ugghh. 

It has almost become a benchmark of righteousness. 

“I gave up alcohol.” 
“Oh. Well, I used to give up alcohol, but it was too easy. So, I'm also giving up meat and television.”

At times, it feels like a one-upsmanship of devotion. “I'll see your night-time glass of red wine and raise you red meat and the bliss of zoning out to American Idol.”

I know this game so well because I fell into that Lent trap many years ago. It just feels so right, so normal, so … self-righteously-holy. It got to the point one year that, and I kid you not, I gave up all beverages other than water, all meat, TV (except for the NCAA tournament – a boy's got his limits), sweets (except for my Birthday Cake – c'mon, it's my birthday!), late night snacks (even ones of the non-sweet persuasion), and I added daily exercise and daily devotions, increased my giving to charities and told at least one person a day how good they were at what they do.

Why so much? Well, I'd been giving up and adding things to my life during Lent for quite awhile. It was my understanding that a big part of doing it was to identify with the sacrifice that Jesus made for us (you know, atonement theology stuff). Each year the “giving up stuff” was easier and easier, and just felt like it wasn't much of a sacrifice. So, I went from easy things, to harder things, to adding as many harder things together as possible, in order to feel the sacrifice. (I actually did give up the NCAA tournament one year... AND my birthday cake – you have no idea how much I love cake).

Upon reflection and in all honesty, I think part of giving all that stuff up was also so that when THAT question was asked, even if I didn't “win” the righteousness game, I would at least finish strong.

Then one year for Lent, I gave up... Lent.

But, like I said earlier, I can't help but think that Lent may actually be more needed now than it has ever been. But I don't “do” Lent. So, what's up with that?

Done right, at least by my assessment, Lent acknowledges the places in our lives that we are falling short of God's desires for us and strives to remove the things that cause those places. Soda, Cake, TV (while  not necessarily the best things for our relationship with God) are not likely to be the things that most get in the way of our walk to/toward/with God. 

So, why are those kinds of things what we most frequently give up for Lent? I'd say it's because the way we practice Lent has turned it into nothing more than a time for religious New Year's resolutions. The timing is perfect too. We've had just enough time to not follow through on our actual New Year's resolutions and to start feeling guilty about it. Lent gives us a second chance to not follow through... um, I mean succeed.

I'm actually not encouraging people to give up Lent. I'm asking you to give up practicing it the way far too many people have practiced it.

If discipline is helpful to you in your walk, Lent is perfect for you! But you do have to do it right. Assess what is getting between you and your relationship with God. (Here's a hint: it is much less likely to be your desire for sweets and much more likely to be your desire to keep up with the Joneses; it is much less likely to be the glass of red wine you have at dinner and much more likely to be the attitude you have towards those who are not like you or disagree with you). Give up something that really gets in the way of your relationship with God. 

It does not have to be something that you know you can consistently do. That's one of the traps of what Lent has become. We think that we fail at Lent if we don't actually make it through all of Lent having not done what we set out to not do.

Let's be real. If the thing you are giving up, if the thing that gets in the way of your relationship with God, is marginalizing people in need out of fear of losing your own comfortable lifestyle... you are going to mess us. You just are. Isn't that all the more reason to try, to be okay with messing up some, to begin to be more aware of it and to move toward the life that God desires for you?

In my eyes, that's what Lent should be about. Honestly, it's a lot harder than giving up cake... and a lot more rewarding.

Given that, why did I give up Lent? Well, it happened a number of years ago. I had finally stopped the religious New Year's resolution thing and had been trying to give up something that really distanced me from God's desires... and I had messed up. A LOT. All Lent long. So, when Easter hit, I didn't quit. I just kept going.

Maybe I didn't give up Lent, maybe I just decided to live in it.

And I still mess up. A LOT … but I just have to keep trying.
 
 

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Comments

02/20/2012 16:10

Lent is not only about what you "give up", but can also be about what you "take on". My father "took on" going to mass one additional day each week during Lent many years ago. Subsequent Lents I saw him add another day. My father now goes to mass everyday and has been doing so for over 15 years....now that is an example of living lent. And although he no longer falls within the age guidelines for fasting (he is 77) he continues to observe all days of fasting and abstinence.

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02/20/2012 18:16

How did going to mass every day change your father's life? What was the impact on his daily life?

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02/20/2012 18:27

This reflection is truly a blessing. I hear the same question each year .. "what did you give up for Lent" .... my immediate response wants to be ... 'to stop answering this silly question'. I believe that Lenten disciplines are very personal much the same as going into your closet to pray. I have no need to Out Lent another person!

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Jenny Williams
02/21/2012 08:40

I echo Dawn C's comments. "Taking up" a practice seems to be the bigger challenge for some people. What practice can we work on establishing during Lent that draws us closer to God? Sure, we fall in the same trap of answering the Lenten discipline question. The pitfalls of that question notwithstanding, taking up a spiritual discipline that we want to begin or reestablishing one we'd let fall by the wayside to me seems an excellent way to walk toward the cross.

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02/21/2012 11:58

Good stuff. I particularly like the "Lent is the religious New Years resolution." Killed with that.

You said "So, when Easter hit, I didn't quit. I just kept going." That is what it's all about. Not stopping something between you and God for a prescribed amount of time but killing it altogether because you desire to be closer to Him. Thanks for that sentence.

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02/21/2012 12:00

One of the healthiest things I've ever done was to give up Facebook for Lent during my senior year of college. I originally chose to do it because I wanted to create space for real relationships with people, real connections, and a closer walk with God through more time with Him. It worked, but it worked on a level that I didn't expect. Facebook was not only eating my time, but it was destroying my self esteem, my gratitude for the way God made ME, because I wasn't constantly comparing myself to others through obsessive photo-stalking, etc. It purged me of a lot of self-perpetuated unhappiness and helped me focus on what God was doing in my life.

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02/21/2012 12:12

I SO get this. But I'm still observing Lent this year, for the first time. I wrote about this decision here: http://t.co/Go4EXQn4 I like the distinction you have here between what people usually give up and what actually keeps our hearts from God. I wonder if we viewed it this way, if admitting our Lenten fast meant admitting the trivialities and darknesses that we put before God (and neighbor), we would be far less likely to admit (or take pride in) our fast in the first place.

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02/21/2012 12:30

Very thoughtful piece. I have felt this way about Lent for some time. In the end, Lent is about you and your relationship with God. It's time the focus was back on that.

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02/21/2012 12:49

I love this! I could write a long comment explaining what I love about it and why, but I think I'll just write a blog post instead, and link to yours. :) Thanks for the thoughts, perspective and inspiration.

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Marienne
02/21/2012 13:08

You have no comments in opposition. Why is that? Your argument is a cowardly. Work on your behavior daily and let Lent be Lent...abstinence in respect for Christ's sacrifice.

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Erin
02/21/2012 17:29

There is little opposition because people agree! Cowards give up chocolate or other trivial foods or activities instead of really putting in the work and time it takes to deepen themselves or contribute to their communities.

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Lisa Noelle Weigand
02/21/2012 23:43

Perhaps because he has spoken his truth in a positive, respectful way that encourages most to respond likewise.

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02/21/2012 20:15

I give up something and I take on something. This helps me refocus in my crazy, busy life. I don't, as a general rule, discuss it with anyone. I simply give something up/take something on and journal my journey throughout Lent. I have a devotional (I choose a different one every year) and I use that to help me focus also. I find it grounding and centering.

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Kasi Treser
02/21/2012 22:12

Completely agree. I've been trying to teach this point of view to my children for years.

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Denise Ulissi
02/21/2012 22:22

Oh, how I need this! I was going to give up foods made with white flour. Now I think I'll *try* to give up being angry with my husband for having an affair.

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Cindy Rasnic
02/22/2012 00:28

I just saw this posted on facebook..and said WHAT? Then I clicked on it.and started to read. First, let me say, I love your humor!!! I also agree totally with you..I was brought up in the faith of lent and ashes..am not a Christian..but not in that church. Lent was always a dark time..in a negative church..with lots of guilt, not where I want to be! In years past, after discussion with Bible study groups and sharing...we decided if we wanted to give up something..and/or be more active in an area of interest..all for the Glory of God..which I do all year long now..in my way! I understand the time that the Christian church observes Lent..to me it is time to reread some good books on Jesus' walk during this time..things that are good for me on my personal walk!!! Again, thank you for your interesting writings, I hope to read more! Cindy

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Rev. Deanna White
02/23/2012 10:20

Hi There! I just wanted to thank you for this blog entry. It was very helpful to me and I love the comparison to New Year's resolutions. It's very true. Thank you for taking the time to write this and to help me personally reflect on this season. Blessing on your continued ministry.

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Becci Himes
02/23/2012 15:36

Growing up as a Baptist, I never knew much about Lent much less practiced it. Also, growing up Baptist, it seemed like we had to give up all the good stuff (dancing, drinking, smoking, gambling etc) all year long anyway. As I got older and learned more about the liturgical churches, I could never quite equate giving up chocolate or giving up booze or red meat with the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross. It actually seemed a little cheeky. Does that make sense. I understand it a good discipline for some, but altogether not for me.

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Andrea Schafer
03/18/2012 18:25

About 12 years ago I was sitting in my pew during our evening Ash Wednesday service and wishing the minister would pick up the pace and get us out of there so I wouldn't miss "The West Wing" on tv. And that's when it came to me that maybe I should give up television for Lent. At the time I had no idea how freeing this would be! Without spending 3 hours an evening glued to the tube I had time to read and meditate on a Lenten devotional book, visit with my mother (who lived with me and has since passed away), call a friend who was going through a tough time. Giving up means also taking on. And the discipline of giving up can become a habit if you're not careful! I seldom watch tv now but spend so much more time reading, visiting friends and praying. Each year now I not only "give up" but "add to" my life. And just a funny thing.......this year I gave up sharing and posting the Christian Left political statuses on FaceBook. :) I felt I was becoming very irritating to some people so instead I post the morning prayers and the scriptures. Today I posted "The Church is Burning" (thanks Mark) and it has stimulated a lot of good conversation. Lent can become a way of life if you want it to be...........not just 40 days of your year.

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