Well, by the time I post this is will be right about 6pm EST. So, either the Big Exit didn't happen, I was Left Behind or you are reading this postmortem. Whatever it is, I thought I'd help out my preacher friends with a few lines for tomorrow's service.
The Rapture Happened:
“Well, as you can see, we are missing a few people today.”
“The question to ask yourself isn't, “why did I get left behind?”, so much as, “why am I stuck here with these people?”
“Now that everyone else has presumably been raptured away, I guess we know that, in fact, love doesn't win.”
“So, now that it's just us, I understand there's going to be a lot of fire and brimstone... whose wants to host the barbeque?”
“Being that the time of trials has started, I'm guessing the weather man's job just got a whole lot easier.”
“I have to say, the fact that you know you didn't get swept up into heaven yesterday while others did and yet you came here, would really look good on the books if there was going to be a third coming... but there's not.”
The Rapture Happened:
“Well, as you can see, we are missing a few people today.”
“The question to ask yourself isn't, “why did I get left behind?”, so much as, “why am I stuck here with these people?”
“Now that everyone else has presumably been raptured away, I guess we know that, in fact, love doesn't win.”
“So, now that it's just us, I understand there's going to be a lot of fire and brimstone... whose wants to host the barbeque?”
“Being that the time of trials has started, I'm guessing the weather man's job just got a whole lot easier.”
“I have to say, the fact that you know you didn't get swept up into heaven yesterday while others did and yet you came here, would really look good on the books if there was going to be a third coming... but there's not.”
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