Jesus, President
Say wha... ? That's right, you heard me, Republicans don't really want a Christian President. It's not really all that difficult to believe if you think about it for a minute. Being a Christian frequently is understood to be a “follower of Christ” - Christ-like.

Let's just take a moment and consider, what would it look like if Jesus were President.  (After all, he already has the bumper sticker).

Jesus said, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”  The first thing President Jesus would do would be to greatly reduce the amount of money we have in war related line items (if not get rid of it completely) and, in being “wise as serpents,” shift quite a bit of it over to education. As you can see in the video below, we have plenty to spare.

Jesus said, “When you have done it unto the least of these, so too you have done it unto me.”  Specifically, he was talking about 1) the hungry: Jesus would probably increase the budget for food stamps and invest heavily in programs that help people get jobs so that they would have the resources to be financially stable. 

2) The thirsty: over 3 million people die every year around the world because of a lack of clean water.  Pres. Jesus would shift some of the money saved from de-funding the war machine over to insuring no one dies from a lack of something as basic as clean water.

3) The Stranger: Jesus would open up the boarders, do away with immigration law. He would welcome the strangers into a strange land. 

4) Those who are naked: Charity organizations would receive a sizable increase in money from the government to help those in need.

5) The sick: Jesus would immediately institute a national health care plan.  Doctors could stop having their first question be, “Do you have enough money to pay for this?” and start having the first question be, “Where does it hurt?”

6) Those in prison: There is an outrageously disproportionate percentage of minorities in jail.  President Jesus would not only make certain those in prison were properly cared for, he would also address the inequalities that lead to so many minorities being there.  He would deal with systemic issues that led to lives that put them there as well as biases that unfairly focus on minorities. This might include insuring that programs like Head Start are fully funded and as well as fully funding college grants for low-income families.

Jesus also would not have accepted the current arrangement that Big Business seems to have with Washington, D.C.  Jesus did not take it lightly when people took advantage of those who already had very little.  The power play that is going on between Big Business and bureaucrats would be put to an end as Jesus would take to flipping metaphorical tables.

There are many, many other parts of the teaching of Jesus that would not sit well with Republicans if the President took them seriously, but one in particular would drive them batty.  In Luke 20:27-38, Jesus makes it clear that marriage is an institution created by humanity not God.  Jesus also spent a great deal of his time teaching his disciples (and us) that we are all equal in the eyes of God and should be treated equally.  He also never once said a condemning word about homosexuality.  Jesus would drop “Don't ask, don't tell” immediately as well as give everyone, regardless of gender, the right to marry whomever they choose.

I realized the President can't actually make all of those things happen, but if the President were a Christian who was governing from a religious perspective, she or he would be trying to do these things.  I'm not even saying that it is or isn't a good idea.  I'm just saying, the Republican would not like it.