by Jack McDevitt

Ok...

I want to go on record that I support a straight person’s right to equality.... but do they really have to kiss and hold hands and be all over each other night after night for millions to watch on a reality show?

Now I want all of you straights out there to know I support and love you but please keep it in PRIVATE okay? Showing affection in public really makes uptight miserable love-less prudes feel really UNCOMFORTABLE! Also, when you straights make an un-necessary show of your affections for all to see, there may be people who are normal but are struggling with having feelings for the opposite sex… and really do not understand yet that it is just as okay to be attracted to the opposite sex as it is to be like everyone else. My point is that these people may find that your hand holding or “sucking face” in public stirs up feelings they are not prepared to deal with.

Another aspect of open heterosexuality that I feel I must address with my friends who happen to be straight, is just in the form of a suggestion. While I and many open minded people I know, think that “straight is great” and that you should be free to be yourself, there is sometimes a tendency of a small minority of straights to act in extremes.

Everyone who is reading this knows the hyper-masculine firemen and policemen who find is necessary to march in parades and act all non-emotional and militaristic and focused, when everyone around them is having a party! Not only does this look ridiculous, but it holds up traffic and business all just to say “hey I’m straight”... ok big deal and whoopty-doo.

I’m also sure everyone has seen those straight girls who allow men to open doors for them, or flirt with the opposite sex by acting a little dumb or some silly behavior. These straight women also show up at parades wearing tiaras and white gloves and sit on top of cars flaunting extreme heterosexual mannerisms that are again just extreme and unnecessary and doesn’t really make any point other than to say “I’m a girlie girl and I like to ---- men!”. These public “shows” do nothing but make straights look clownish and my concern is that no one will take you serious if you don’t encourage your members to tone it down just a little. A good example of this is when a girl expects a man to open the door for her or she is dressed up in some real lacy outfit with gloves and makeup and a lot of jewelry or the straight man who is always watching sports, never shows his feelings and cannot be bothered to support his partner.

There are people out there who really believe that if straights are allowed to keep the children you make for us, that some of you would wrongfully influence the child in a certain way like painting a little girls room pink or allowing a boy to play football. I just want to say that these extremes make the rest of you look bad and really harm your case for equality.

I want to get across to you how painful to the rest of us out there who understand you, to hear people call you names like “hetzies” and “breeders” and how we could really make progress if those few “extreme” straights would stop acting so stereotypically hyper-masculine or girlie-girl. EQUALITY means just that and we should be all the same and not have to go by labels. Only when you start looking like the rest of us will you truly be yourself and that means being modest and just like everyone else.

IN Christ, who, although acted normal, did show some mannorisms of dangerous individualism...
Jack

Jack McDevitt serves on the Rappahannock Rapidan Community Services Board and is a graduate of Bridgewater College.